Monday, September 14, 2009

Must write

Dear Readers,

I've been out of touch for too long. And I fear I may be losing my craft to the hustle and bustle of life. So instead of letting it sweep me away, I'm going to share it with you.

Much has come of us since my chronicles of last summer. By September of 2008, I had lost 30 lbs, I had lost the will to get up in the morning, and i had lost all hope of ever recovering from having to cancel my wedding. I'm happy to report that a year later, the tables have turned quite differently.

Through the fall and winter, after our great summer of love disaster, slowly but surely, each and every family member began to hear about the wedding that never was. Rather than express great shock over the fact that my partner and I were together, most were shocked that we would have the audacity to get married, or otherwise that we had the audacity not to invite them! With every unveiling of our little drama, we told our story, from our perspective, and before we knew it, we found a bit more than just tolerance on our side.

In March, we finally ventured off together again, and put on a great production. I wrote down our little drama in a script and transformed it into a performance as part of my thesis project. We each played ourselves and were accompanied by gracious volunteers from the CSUN Performance Ensemble on stage. 5 years after our last major stage production, my Juliet and I were back in the spotlight. Only this time, we didn't make an appearance for a grand bow at the end of the show. We were in the spotlight for the whole show. We packed a little theatre classroom with 100 people and re-enacted everything, down to the "post-it wedding"-like exchange of vows that aired on Gray's Anatomy last season.

Secretly, it was our way of getting everyone we know and love in the same room, and for a minute, to profess our undying love and commitment to one another in front of all of them. We may not have had our elegant and perfect wedding, but we had our moment, whether we were doing it as Thelma and Louise, Samantha and Carrie, or Sullivan and Juliet. The names didn't matter. In that moment, it was just us.

Evil Aunt Maggie continues to be her horrid self. She still harbors feelings of anger and betrayal toward my nuclear family. Though i try every day to put myself in her shoes and understand her, i just don't see why she's still angry. I don't really see why she was ever angry. Still, every day i try with great efforts to make amends, to mend the sutures that so many blame on our love.

My grandmother says I've inherited the family duty - to keep everyone together. It seems i have. Family is that thing we don't ever really get to choose. And it bothers me that we are often made to feel like we wish we could have chosen someone else. I often wish i could have chosen someone other than Evil Aunt Maggie. She's left a distaste in my soul.

As for Lady and Mr. Capulet... even they are growing, while Evil Aunt Maggie continues to fester. We are not yet at that point where we can have Sunday brunch with the Capulets. But then again, i don't know if i ever want to be at that point. For now, at least they're not trying to kill me anymore. :)

More updates on our saga of love,


1 comment:

super des said...

That's wonderful news! Good to hear from you again. :)