Thursday, September 2, 2010

Check out my new Blog

My Partner and I have started a new blog: Critical Consumers

So I will be retiring Letters from Sullivan.

Check us out:

We're not quite up and running just yet - but check back soon for updates on all the nifty products and services we buy and how we rate them!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hello form Richmond, VA

Dear Reader,

I'm writing to you this evening from a cozy little chair in the Richmond International Airport. I flew in on Wednesday night for business, but i have to admit that the last few days have felt like this trip was for pleasure. I've been gifted with the opportunity to work with a team of individuals that truly know the meaning of kindness and respect. It has been a wonderful experience.

As you may know, Los Angeles is my home and i have often said i would never live anywhere else. But i have to admit that there are other parts of the world that are quite lovely too. For example, i love the serenity of the abundant foliage in Richmond. The highways (not freeways) are gorgeously adorned and the architecture of the beautiful homes is plain old breath-taking. The only thing i regret is not being able to enjoy this place with my wife. Maybe on one of my next trips.

Speaking of my beautiful wife... i often wondered, before getting married, what it would be like to share a bed with someone permanently. i thought I'd get tired of it, hate it, and ask for nights to myself, where i could sprawl out like a starfish and enjoy the spaciousness. But i must admit, we've been living together for 9 months now, and on my 3-day trip away from home, it's been so difficult to sleep without her. i find myself curling up on "my side" of the bed, cuddling a pillow, wishing it was her. I no longer know what it means to sleep alone and I'm not sure i like it anymore either!

Despite how lovely this trip has been, i can't wait to get back home, to hold her in my arms again and tell her she's my # 1, my only one. We've been through so much in the last year, and i honestly believe we have so much to cherish because of it. I am grateful, every day, for every moment we get to share. She is everything to me and i am so proud of the wonderful woman she is. This month we accomplished so much. We went out to dinner with her aunt and uncle, and for the first time ever, they saw her for the intelligent and accomplished woman that she is. And for the first time ever, my parents acknowledged her as my other half, and invited her over to spend time with them while i was away. She inspires me every day to be better and better, in spite of all the challenges i face, whether they're just in my head or they're real. Let's admit, i tend to be a worry wart even in the most unnecessary circumstances. And somehow, only she knows how to calm me down again.
As for Mr. And Lady Capulet... they still hate me. They are still praying on a daily basis that something terrible will happen to me. so i ask you please, to pray that nothing terrible will happen and that i will be healthy enough to live a long life... one in which i will be able to make my lovely wife as happy as she makes me every day!
Making a difference in the world one person at a time,

Monday, September 14, 2009

Must write

Dear Readers,

I've been out of touch for too long. And I fear I may be losing my craft to the hustle and bustle of life. So instead of letting it sweep me away, I'm going to share it with you.

Much has come of us since my chronicles of last summer. By September of 2008, I had lost 30 lbs, I had lost the will to get up in the morning, and i had lost all hope of ever recovering from having to cancel my wedding. I'm happy to report that a year later, the tables have turned quite differently.

Through the fall and winter, after our great summer of love disaster, slowly but surely, each and every family member began to hear about the wedding that never was. Rather than express great shock over the fact that my partner and I were together, most were shocked that we would have the audacity to get married, or otherwise that we had the audacity not to invite them! With every unveiling of our little drama, we told our story, from our perspective, and before we knew it, we found a bit more than just tolerance on our side.

In March, we finally ventured off together again, and put on a great production. I wrote down our little drama in a script and transformed it into a performance as part of my thesis project. We each played ourselves and were accompanied by gracious volunteers from the CSUN Performance Ensemble on stage. 5 years after our last major stage production, my Juliet and I were back in the spotlight. Only this time, we didn't make an appearance for a grand bow at the end of the show. We were in the spotlight for the whole show. We packed a little theatre classroom with 100 people and re-enacted everything, down to the "post-it wedding"-like exchange of vows that aired on Gray's Anatomy last season.

Secretly, it was our way of getting everyone we know and love in the same room, and for a minute, to profess our undying love and commitment to one another in front of all of them. We may not have had our elegant and perfect wedding, but we had our moment, whether we were doing it as Thelma and Louise, Samantha and Carrie, or Sullivan and Juliet. The names didn't matter. In that moment, it was just us.

Evil Aunt Maggie continues to be her horrid self. She still harbors feelings of anger and betrayal toward my nuclear family. Though i try every day to put myself in her shoes and understand her, i just don't see why she's still angry. I don't really see why she was ever angry. Still, every day i try with great efforts to make amends, to mend the sutures that so many blame on our love.

My grandmother says I've inherited the family duty - to keep everyone together. It seems i have. Family is that thing we don't ever really get to choose. And it bothers me that we are often made to feel like we wish we could have chosen someone else. I often wish i could have chosen someone other than Evil Aunt Maggie. She's left a distaste in my soul.

As for Lady and Mr. Capulet... even they are growing, while Evil Aunt Maggie continues to fester. We are not yet at that point where we can have Sunday brunch with the Capulets. But then again, i don't know if i ever want to be at that point. For now, at least they're not trying to kill me anymore. :)

More updates on our saga of love,


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hello Again

Dearest readers,

It's been too long since I last posted.

I'm trying to get back into blogging.

More soon,

-- Sullivan

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

No on 8

Dear Readers,

A little shameless plug for me and the love of my life...

Please see Red Stapler's blog post No on 8!

As election day approaches, my Juliet and I will begin to voice ourselves in the name of all the human beings in this country that were ever discriminated against.

It ends with Prop 8 - Californians, Vote NO on Proposition 8.

Respectfully yours,


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

For my Juliet

Dearest Juliet,

Because I was lucky enough to fall in love with you and find that you fell in love with me... because this song truly represents how lucky we are...

For you. I love you!

"Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Always yours,


Time heals...

Dear Readers,

What's new? It's been the month from hell - picking up where we left off, making sense of the mess, looking over our shoulders, hiding under rocks, crying, cuddling, falling apart. Underneath the ruble, though is the truth: we love each other. We made a commitment to each other and here we are, making the most of it. It's not easy, but the reward is great: to see each other smile, to hold each other close, to breathe each other in, to calm each others nerves... to share a life.

Thornton Wilder said it best in "Our Town" - "people are meant to go through life two-by-two." What's the point of it all if you don't have one special someone to share it with? A witness to your life... someone to chronicle your every tear, your every smile, your every fart - LOL - someone who's seen your movie too, listened to the soundtrack of your life and made it with you.
Throughout this trying time - I won't lie - I've fallen quite low. But I didn't realize how low i had gotten until last week, when I gave my lunch back to the porcelain monarch. It wasn't until that moment that i stopped ignoring the chest pain, the moths (not just butterflies) in my stomach, and realized I need help.

I finally gave into the one thing i promised myself i would never give into: therapy. I would have sooner relinquished a limb than to have given into knowing that there was something i couldn't help myself with. But alas, when it gets to the point where you realize you just don't have the clarity to see what the solution is, you need to get help.

I've lost 22 lbs in 3 weeks. It's not only amazing, it's unhealthy. I look better than I have in years, but i feel horrible. My body is broken, weak, and in pain all the time. The chest pain is still not gone, the weak stomach persists, and the palpitations are far from over. The little flutter in my heart comes and goes... but, at least I'm not shaking my leg all the time anymore.

They say time heals... I hate that so much and yet it has proven to be so true... When i was 10, i lost my grandmother to time... and it took 3 years for me to recover. I'm hoping almost losing Juliet won't take 3 years... hopefully we can move on together, much sooner, but without rushing, without pressuring the people around us to change for us a minute sooner. They will come around; they just need time, like i needed time. To them, it's almost like they've lost us and coping is the hardest part. And to us... it's like we lost them and moving on is even harder.

But... time will heal things...

One song gets me through it: "Sa Jeunesse" By Charles Aznavour.

The song is about our fleeting youth and reflecting on our lives. The song reminds me to make the most of every day and to keep up my chin in anticipation of the day when i have the epiphany Monsieur Aznavour had when he wrote this song. On that day, I want to have no regrets about the things I did in my youth... including these few months. His music helps me through it. And my Juliet's smile makes it all worth it.

Wishing you the opportunity to know the love we share,