Sullivan...

Dear Reader,

Many moons ago, I stumbled on a motivational book of romantic quotes. At the time I was dating someone whose name sounded like Sarah, so when I found this little quote/poem, I thought it was fateful, and clung to it tremendously. On a 4x2 mini page, it read:

"Sarah, my love for you is deathless.
The memories of all the blissful moments I have spent with you come crowding over me.
If I do not [return], my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, nor that, when my last breath escapes me on the battle­field, it will whisper your name."
--Major Sullivan Ballou

The last line captivated me so much that with that one line it surmised for me what I thought it meant to love someone. Imagine... to say their name as your last breath escapes you... how romantic!

Needless to say, I shared it, immediately, with my girlfriend of the time, and we agreed to assume the roles of Sullivan and Sarah. Teen-age lovebirds, we exchanged rings and had our pen names engraved in them. Years later, we saw it fit to part ways... irreconcilable differences, you know. But "Sullivan" stuck with me.

How noble a man who would profess his undying love with such candor and eloquence... that's everything I wanted to be. That's still everything I want to be. So i assumed the pen name: Sullivan.

I kept that ring for some time. It had a creme colored Cameo set in black onyx and surrounded by tiny little marcasite stones. It was octagonal shaped and had "Sullivan" engraved on the inside of the band. I used to wear it ever day that "Sarah" and I were still together, until the last few months of our relationship, when infidelity and resentment had caused a great rift between us. Eventually, I cast the ring aside, as it carried unpleasant memories.

Ironically, when my fiancee (we'll call her Juliet from now on) and I started dating, she found the ring among my jewelry and thought it was something i adored. Poor thing went to great lengths to try to find me a new Cameo set. My Juliet was quite crushed when I told her it wasn't the Cameo I was attached to, but Sullivan.

Major Sullivan Ballou happened to be an honest man with the ability to profess his undying love. Love is the one thing i have lived by for all of my 24 years and plan to keep it as my guiding light till the very end. To read the inspiration letter that prompted the little quote i stumbled on, please visit http://www.nps.gov/history/nr/twhp/wwwlps/lessons/12manassas/12facts1.htm

In the meantime, Sullivan seems to stay with me... a name, an alter ego... the man I would have wanted to be.

Romantically Yours,

--Sullivan